Performed in a comedy show last night and it was facking awesome. So much fun.
Videos to follow maybe.

Is it racist if I assume that you do not know anything about classical music because you are black?
— Second year Sociology major submitted by   (via shitrichcollegekidssay)
one third of me: I want a relationship so much, relationships are so cute
one third of me: sex sex sex I want sex fuck relationships lets be slutty
one third of me: fuck everyone I hate people
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just talk to them, you know?
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.


This is the funniest thing to ever happen to Canada


this probably tops all the other wisdom teeth videos





pros: cons

cons: pros

Unemployment is actually working out pretty great for me so far. I’m spending a lot more time writing my all female zombie movie. It’s gonna be ace.


people who think being respectful and kind is a weakness



The avengers all get vine accounts And the first vine is uploaded of tony shoving Bruce down the stairs yelling “PARKOUR” then Bruce hulks out and suddenly it cuts to tony screaming and running